Sunday morning I woke up ready to get up and get going.  It was about 7:15am.  I thought about going to swim laps, but the pool didn't open until 11am.  I thought about going to the gym, but it didn't open until 9am.  I thought about a yoga class but could find one before 10am.  Everything I could think of was unavailable to me besides a bike ride on very wet roads or a morning walk.  So I chose a walk.  I grabbed the camera and selected the 35mm lens.  Normally, I like to take the 50mm with me on walks, so it was nice to have something that helped me see things a little bit differently.  I've found that it's a great creative practice to choose a different tool than what you're used to or to set some restrictions on yourself when you feel like you're 'stuck' and always repeating the same work.

In any case, I'm glad I went for the walk.  I spent time thinking about life and forgiveness (more on that another time) and just admiring the morning mist before the heat of the sun burned it off.  Florida has been seeming very much like a jungle these days - lots of rain and humidity so the vegetation is growing like crazy.  I think that may come across in a photograph or two... also, be sure to look for the neighbor's cat poking it's head through the fence. :)

Want more?  To see some photographs of a walk at Lake Ontario in NY State, click here!  If you're interested in ordering photographic reproductions, contact me at Kristin@Kozelskyphoto.com.

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As we move into the new year, there are a ton of posts showing up about what the goals/dreams/hopes/wishes are for 2014.  This is the first year that I actually have written, actionable goals with tangible results recorded.  I'm feeling big things ahead for the business, which I'm pretty excited about.  The last 16 months have been a bit of a challenge but were also met with record growth in the business, so it's an interesting changing of the calendars for me this time around.

One of the things I'm going to work on this year is me.  I mean, I always try to work to improve myself in a number of ways, but this year I plan to be much more structured about it (noticing a pattern here?).

An exercise I've come across a few times is basically like a persona exercise.  We all have different roles that we fill in life: for example I am a business owner, a daughter, an artist, a friend, a sister, an employee, a teacher, and so on.  For each of these roles, we have the ideal person that we'd like to be and that person has specific characteristics that we can name.  To give you an idea of what I mean, the best or most ideal friend I can be is available, supportive, thoughtful, joyful, and an adventure-maker.  Sometimes it's easier to arrive at what the ideal characteristics are by starting with what you DON'T want to be and then finding the opposite of that.  

Anyway, the point of this whole thing is that I have spent a lot of time thinking about all of the different roles or personas that encompass who I am, which is important, but I haven't thought about the overal 'me'.  So I sat down and came up with this list of characteristics.  I think that if I could be these things, I'd be the best me possible:



So all this is well and good.  I think it's a decent list and almost every word up there has a very specific reason for being there.  But the next step is finding a way to actually move toward becoming this person.  Some of these things I do, some of them make rare appearances, and I have barely caught glimpses of some of the others.  There are a couple of methods that people have suggested for utilizing a list like this to work on becoming the person or ideal example of a role you hope to be:

1 - Name this persona.  Any type of name will do - a silly name, a traditional first name, an adjective, whatever.  When you're in a situation that you find you are not handling the way you'd like to, ask yourself what this persona would do and use it to reset yourself.

2 - Read your list of characteristics once or twice daily.  Read through them with purpose, not skimming the list just to move on to your next 'to do' - I've totally done that and it doesn't help at all. :)

Obviously, I'm not saying you should be someone you aren't.  In my experience, this tool has been helpful for me when I am able to take a step back and see myself in a particular situation and wish that I could handle it a little bit differently.  This can help put be back in line with what my values are.

So there we are.  That's one of the things I'm working on for 2014.  What about you?

To see some examples of recipes that help me stay healthy, check out this post on an easy and tasty leek and beets recipe!

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As a business owner, I've been occassionally challenged to articulate the 'why'.  Why am I photographer? 

Because I simply have to be.  It is me.  

I spent several years trying to figure out what to do with my life.  After more school and more degrees than most people really need, I discovered that what I thought I wanted to do was not the right path.  I wandered and waited patiently.  I knew IT would arrive.  I knew that when I found IT, I would recognize it and pour my whole self into making a career of it.  A few years ago, photography came along and here we are.

Since at least junior high, if not before, I wanted to be an archaeologist. In college, I started taking archaeology and anthropology classes right away and never doubted my path.  I was fortunate that I was able to place out of most of the general education requirements, so my schedule was almost completely free for me to take whatever I wanted and explore a variety of fields.  It turns out that Art is where I went to play.  I came out with an Honors BA in Anthropological Archaeology and a BA in Art.  

Graduate school.  I spent three years completing a Master's in Anthropological Archaeology and a certificate in Museum Studies.  I finished grad school positively knowing a couple things: 

1 - Although I LOVE archaeology, the baggage that comes with life in academia (i.e., the politics and publish or perish mentality) was just too much for me.

2 - Although I LOVE archaeology, it is detached from the world in a way because its existence is based on the past.  There is no interaction with people.  Yes, the fieldwork is fantastic and the theory and cultural perspective is awe-inspiring, but when you get back, you spend night and day alone in a lab.  I started to think that cultural or applied anthropology would be a better fit because it would allow me to apply what I'd learned to present-day work and interact with people on a much deeper level.

3 - Although I LOVE archaeology, it's a luxury field (proven recently by The Powers That Be at FSU who are dismantling the department that I received my MA from) and doesn't benefit most people.  I do think it is important and that there are situations when understanding the archaeological record is hugely beneficial for a small group, but for the majority of the popoulation, it's a 'hey, that's cool' moment and nothing more.  I wanted to do something with my life that touched people.  That gave them something.  That was much more about connections between people.

When I finished my master's degree, I left the field. I spent a couple years teaching English in Czech Republic, I started a job here in Gainesville, Florida at a startup tech company, and just patiently waited for 'IT' to show itself.

And now here we are.  I have found photography.  It is an art.  It is an opportunity to meet the people in my community, to tell stories, and document moments and rituals in people's lives.  In this way it is anthropology.  It gives people the opportunity to appreciate each other and simply enjoy being together, and it gives them a permanent reminder of the moments they share.  It touches people and reminds them of the connections in life that matter.

These are the reasons that I don't shoot posed photographs, that I want to just come observe for the day, that I want to have a conversation (and I happen to have a camera), that I want to spend 12 hours photographing a wedding.  I am seeking the natural interaction, the culture of people.  THAT is what is interesting to me.  It is so much more intriguing than a technically perfect photograph that tells you nothing about who the people in it are.  I want my work to draw the viewer in so they say "Who is that? I want to know their story."

It is amazing that something like this even exists, something that allows me to combine these different parts of myself.  So why am I doing this?  Because I have to.  It is me.  I am an anthropological artist.  I am a photographer.

Ethel Weaver.  Taken in her home in early 2009.  She was 96.

Wow.  It's been an interesting few days.  This weekend was great for me... personally and in terms of my photographic work.  I am so charged up right now - I CAN'T WAIT to get out there in shoot.  My path has become clearer and I feel that I am starting to have a stronger sense of how I'm different and how to make it work for me.  I feel like I took a giant step toward my future this weekend.

On top of that, I found out that I've been accepted to Fearless Photographers.  This site is a collection of wedding photographers from around the world, and you have to apply to be a member of this community.  Needless to say, I'm pretty excited about making the cut.  There are contests every few months and you can submit a handful of photos for each one.  Let's hope that one of these days I'll will a Fearless Award ;)

Lastly, I came across this quotation about art this past weekend and thought I'd share:

The act of making art exposes a society to itself.  Art brings things to light.  It illuminates us.  It sheds light on our lingering darkness.  It casts a beam into the heart of our own darkness and says, "See?"

The last bit of my 30-day film challenge happened when I was out in California, but I hadn't gotten the film back until yesterday.

Weird things seem to be happening with this film and camera... most things are not coming out as I expect them to at all, which makes for some interesting images.  On a number of the early-morning sunrise photos it looks like there were some shutter issues that blacked out portions of the images.  I'll have to do some research on curtains and film... I don't ever remember that happening in all the years I shot film before, but this is a different camera so who knows?

Anyway, enjoy the surprising weirdness :)